and it just don't stop.

flip.

i'm not exactly sure where to start. too much to say, too much to do.

well, i guess i should start at the beginning.
wednesday afternoon, i had a full tank, and a some fresh oil + filter, thanks to my buddy sam.
was visiting the boys group boyz, to get some enrolment details for church camp.
then i went home and had some KFC, and also went to visit some other people from my church, but they weren't exactly willing, so 8.00pm on a wednesday night, whats a young fulla to do? go to maraetai. yea-uh!
now maraetai, for some reason holds a special place in my heart, i've had some good times there, and if you got on a calm night, you can just sit still before God and let your soul be refreshed. but this night i was still somewhat agitated, and after about 10mins, i decided to head back.
I'm gonna have a biased opinion but i don't think i was driving recklessly.
obviously a lot of contributing factors went into the accident, some of which would consist of: my driving, new vehicle, tiredness, God's sovereignty.
But i'm still blank as to why my car left the road?

i did feel the laft rear wheel hit the gravel, which in turn caused the other rear wheel to be dragged into its path, and by this stage my whole vehicle was skidding sideways along the road side at about 90-100kms.

i looked up and saw the powerpole coming about 80metres away, and it was lined up perfectly with the centre of my vehicle, there was no chance of me stopping, or changing my path.
at that stage - the whole world stopped - or at least slowed to a fraction of the speed it was was moving, - just like an action movie.

Two very vivid thoughts entered my mind:

1. ' This is it, i'm going home!'

2. "Oh no, not my car!'

as you can see, i was still very selfish, even in the midst of calamity.
the biggest thing was, that i seriously thought, God was gonna take me home, and as daunting as i know that day will be, it was actually very reassuring at that particular time. I believe that if all of the above had happened and i didn't know jesus, or trust him as my saviour, i would be a very shook man. very very shaken.

but i think having that perspective throughtout the rest of the accident and in the coming days, it granted me a better position to really deal with all the situations around me, i didn't have to stress, because i realised God's plan was to keep me here, and there was obviously nothing i could do to influence that.

now, those that know me, will also note, that i thrive on a bit of adrenalin, so actually hitting the pole, was somewhat enjoyable? (if that makes any sense). i mean, not enjoyable, but it's one of those things that will probably only happen once in your lives, if that, i wanted to be able to experience it. i don't really know if i can communicate really what i want to, so just don't think i'm a sick dude or anything.

obviously after the impact, i couldn't breath, my first impression was that i had given myself the stitch, which i later corrected to be rib injuries.
about 1 minute after it happened, a dude came down the road from his house across the road, took one look at the car and said ' wow, uh, just stay in the car, i'll go and call an ambulance'.
as soon as he ran off, i opened the door of my car and got out. (direct disobedience once again!) i must be inherently sinful or something?
while stumbling for breath, the neighbour on the other side of the road came down and supported me to her letterbox, which i leant on whilst struggling for breath, by now my ribs were starting to get quite painful. I also had to partake in conversation, about lots of weird and wonderful things, although to my benefit, mono syllabic answers and grunts usally surficed.

once the ambulance arrived, i don't recall much of that trip to the hospital, except to be floating on a wave of morphine. the hospital was the same story, i was conscience that people we're looking after me, so i really didn't worry about anything until the next day.

to round it up, kids always wear your safetly belts, drive safe, live your lives as you wouild if you knew God was coming back today, because you don't know when you'll meet him.

I really just wanna praise my Saviour and my Lord, because it's only by His wonderful grace that i'm still amongst you brethren today. He was my strenght, my sustainence, my provider,
I was was looking forward to sharing eternity with Him, and still am, but have to stay here for another while.

i also want to thank all you fullas out there but most notably,
my parents:
thanks for staying strong on the phone, i didn't give you guys anything back, but managed to use your strength to strengthen me, sorry for all the drama i've caused. thanks for bringing me up in the ways of the Lord.

scott and jono:
who needs a wife when you've got flatmates like these? you guys were awesome, from being my first visitors, to taking care of my car, co-ordinating everybody else. if i had a medal, you guys would get it. thanks heaps eh?

brother sam:
this guy man, you could walk into world war 3 and he'd be beside you cracking jokes and pulling your arm. when i needed to smile he made me smile, chur bro. thanks man.

louise:
can't forget my souls sista, even thou she was in japan, she rang me everyday, to see how i was getting on? i was awaiting those phone calls with upmost anticipation. thanks bud.
you encouraged me so much. sorry you couldn't have been here, but thanks for being strong from your side

andrew mac:
the macdaddy, this guy comes in, finds out your level and just chills, it was cool to just spend time hanging with him.

if i write a few things about everyone, i'm gonna be here all day, so don't feel neglected if your name comes in this next list, i valued your support as much as the other fullas, but i really need to got get some painkillas, so here goes:
thanks:
nathan and sarah, for the reading, krizia and sarah for the soul, hamish, for the 'slam', chur bro.
scott(again) and sarah, willie and alex- thanks for cds, election stuff + gromer. the brown family, harrington and roi, the boss, mike thanks for the chocs. jimbo, that audience with a guitar was talked about throughout the ward, chur dude - rock on.
shane, mark tasker - he carried all belongings out of the hosp. chur dude. thanks to everybody who txted, hopefully i responded, and of course everyone who prayed. i can't thank you enough!

i've probably neglected a few people, i'll blame it on the morphine.

so yeah, i better go. i'll end with a mastercard line.

6 fractured ribs = painful
1 punctured lung = painful
1 written off car = pain in the wallet
God being glorified throughout all of the above =priceless.